Resentment and gratitude cannot coexist, since resentment blocks the perception and experience of life as a gift. My resentment tells me that I don't receive what I deserve. It always manifests itself in envy.
Gratitude, however, goes beyond the 'mine' and 'thine' and claims the truth that all of life is a pure gift. In the past I always thought of gratitude as a spontaneous response to the awareness of gifts received, but now I realize that gratitude can also be lived as a discipline. The discipline of gratitude is the explicit effort to acknowledge that all I am and have is given to me as a gift of love, a gift to be celebrated with joy.
(from The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen, p.85, emphasis is mine)
Every time I feel something is lacking, when I want something I don't have, when I'm jealous or resentful, or simply bored, I 'preach' to myself: all of this is a gift. Your relationship with God is a gift that far exceeds all others, all other relationships are unearned, and the rest of creation is God's abundant generosity to you. And whatever is lacking now, God will restore in full at the resurrection.
Gratitude is so freeing; it frees you to enjoy everything for what it is. But, it also frees you to be sorrowful. You can mourn what is fallen and broken without being demanding or angry. That's healing, too.
Life is so much more enjoyable and free when deservedness is taken out of the equation! And God becomes 'bigger' too.
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